My heart broke when I recently heard my friend say she was staying in a toxic and unhappy relationship because she was “so financially tied to him” she “didn’t have a choice.” I was saddened because she felt she had already weighed the pros and cons and wanted to get out, but she felt she had no choice. She was making a conscious choice to be a victim and to not believe in herself that if she left she would be able to support and provide for herself financially. Can you see the self-imposed bondage she is living in?
This article is not to debate the religious world-views of whether or not divorce is considered a sin and is right or wrong. Personally I believe that God wants all of us to experience joy and freedom and love, and if we need to remove ourselves of oppressive situations, I feel that is the liberating and self-loving choice we should make.
The question I’m posing is are you willing to look at yourself through a new perspective to examine if you are in toxic environments that are not helpful physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually for you?
Unfortunately many of us are surrounded by multiple toxic influences on a daily basis, both intentionally and not.
What is the harm of staying around toxic influences?
Whether we choose to admit it or not, these negative energies eat away at the freedom and joy of our Spirit little by little each day. They infiltrate our mind into believing lies about our true value, our self-worth, our abilities and our attainment and worthiness of love and freedom.
They tell us we’re not good enough, not smart enough, not strong enough, not capable enough, not worthy enough, not loveable enough. They stifle our true gifts, passions, callings and talents to a place that doesn’t even recognize them or even believe they exist any more.
They erode and kill your joy.
May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
How can you know if something or someone is toxic for you?
Examine your feelings – Do you feel a sense of happiness, comfort, love, safety and joy in that situation or around that person? Or do you feel fearful, uneasy, tense, depressed or a whole host of other negative emotions?
>> Our emotions are the best indicator of how our soul feels.
Your soul is alive inside of you and holds the keys to your true purpose, passion and value of who you are and were fully created to be.
After awhile of shunning our soul’s callings and stuffing them down because we don’t think (or we’ve been told) they’re not of value or worth, we begin to get numb to their call. But our emotions give us clues.
How to tap into who you really are. Into what brings you joy and fulfillment.
- I encourage you to make a list of what your soul is calling you to do, be or experience. What are the deeper callings, pursuits, passions, interests, gifts and talents that are unique to you. Not what you think are acceptable or socially appropriate choices. Take any limitations off as you do this activity. See what comes out from the inside. This is your Soul List.
- Next look over this list and write as many things or people that you’re involved with that meet the criteria of exploring, supporting or furthering these things.
- Now write a list of things or people you’re involved with that lead you away from pursuing, living or experiencing items on your Soul List.
Next comes the hard part.
The awareness has now been created. So what are you going to do about it?
It’s once our eyes are opened that we need to make a change, we now have to grapple with what that means. Do we need to exit a relationship? Do we need to change jobs? Do we need to stop participating in a certain social scene or group? Do we need to add or create ways to pursue our dreams? Do we need to take further action to support our health and vitality? If so, what, when, how, where?
Write down the action items that come to mind and start putting them into place as soon as possible!
But I’ll warn you, this is where fear sets in with it’s goal of keeping you in bondage. But don’t give into it. There is FREEDOM on the other side!
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1
Do you realize that once your eyes have been opened and you have allowed your Spirit to find it’s voice again, you then have the choice of freedom or continued slavery and bondage.
Your soul craves freedom and was designed to help you live a beautiful and exciting joy-filled life because it’s expressing who you really are! Do not let the lies, oppression or influence of others dictate who God made you to be.
I pray today that you will step forward in faith, moving in the direction of freedom, even one step at a time, to liberate your soul and let your light shine.
Do not believe the lies that you cannot support yourself if you were to leave, that you do not have value to offer others, that you could not be helpful or of use to someone else, that you are not worthy or deserving of love by anyone else.
YOU have already been given the value, worth and love that the Creator of the Universe bestows upon you, simply because He has created you. Step into that beautiful light, past the fear, over the uncertainty, and towards the beauty, love and joy that God has waiting for you. I’m cheering you on.
~Dr. Melody
P.S. Although I’m not a psychologist, counselor or therapist, I believe in your ultimate good. I am a motivator, encourager and lover of all of God’s beauty and creation–and that includes you!
If you feel you’ve been in self-imposed bondage and you’re ready to end the struggle–ready to claim back your life of joy and beauty–I’ve opened up slots for 4, 6 and 8 weeks coaching packages so I can help be a guiding light to help you find your way. I believe in you and your unlimited potential.
Simply click here to claim an open slot for us to talk and explore how I can help and what options would be the best fit for you. You are loved.
#DrMelody #healthandhopemotivator #christcenteredcoaching #youreworthit
You are going to love this story. Have you ever known in your gut that something awesome was about to happen? Or thought of something cool and very soon after it actually came to pass? That is what this is all about.
I wish I could remember the exact moment I knew I would be friends with Tim Tebow, but it probably became very evident to me about a year ago.
I had loved watching Tim’s pro-football career and transition into sports casting and had been inspired for years by his life, authenticity, and out-spoken nature of being Sold Out for God.
Now, on a slight yet still relevant tangent, I should preface that one of my most favorite charities of all time is called Free Wheelchair Mission (FWM) and I fell in love with them during physical therapy school, as one of my professors was helping to develop the low-cost wheelchairs they produce to distribute to the disabled around the world in 3rd world countries.
A PERFECT fit for a beautiful cause that fit my passion and educational training, all rolled into one!
Well fast forward 8 and a half years and it turns out that Tim will be the featured speaker at the annual fundraiser for FWM next week in Orange County, CA! Just an hour and a half up the road from where I live in San Diego! So clearly I’ve bought my tickets and will be there!
So wouldn’t you know it-–THIS is when and how it will take place: My becoming friends with Tim Tebow!
Now wait a second! You said in the title that you were ALREADY friends!?
Well, yes and no….I said how I became friends with Tim.
And how can I be so sure that we will actually become friends?
Aren’t I being a bit arrogant or conceited thinking I can predict the future?
Well what I’ve learned so far from my life experience is that I’ve tuned into my own intuition. The small voice and nudge in my head and my heart when something special is coming to pass. And what I’ve seen in more ways than not is that God brings to pass that which we believe in faith. And what I know even more so is the POWER we hold in our thoughts, feelings and words.
When God said he created us in his own image, and that when we become believers His power is INSIDE of us…well I truly believe that! And not only do I believe it, but I’ve experienced it and SEEN it time and time again–play out into reality.
So if you don’t think our thoughts, words, actions, intentions or faith really matter or that they actually hold the power the Bible says they do…well then you’re missing out on living an INCREDIBLE life!
>>Final Thought: I can’t wait to tell you how the real life events unfold of what I already know is happening next Thursday, July 28th.—As I begin the journey of becoming friends with Tim Tebow. 😉
Don’t be ashamed or timid to be bold in your faith, bold in your convictions and bold in knowing God is FOR you, not against you!
Your sister in Christ,
~Dr. Melody
P.S. Wanna hear more about how this story unfolds? Link up with me online as I’ll be posting more about it and of course ON the night of the event next week–all happening in my private FB group. Join me now!
Ok, hear me out on this one. I know the title was a little “cheeky”but it was meant to be! But it doesn’t make my experience at the Vet yesterday any less valid…
So yesterday I had to take my cat, M.C., to the vet for his yearly flea medication refill and check-up. Poor guy has been having a hard time battling them with this summer heat, plus we live on a plush canyon, so fleas are abundant!
Here’s my buddy after we got home. Needless to say, he was NOT pleased about the experience. He HATES being in the carrying crate and doesn’t like the car rides. 🙁
(Do you see his “baby” on the bed off to the right?) That’s a blue and white stuffed snowman called Mr. Snowy, that he’s had since he was the same size as it! He literally carries it around the house, specifically to whatever room we happen to be hanging out in. LOL! He’s so funny!!
Anyway, I had been deep in thought most of the day, and felt so terrible for my guy because I know he hates having to go to the Vet. But of course I was there the whole time trying to reassure him and pet him as best I could through the crate and calm him down….which kinda worked….sometimes. Lol
And it got me thinking, “This must be what it’s like when we’re resisting and not trusting God!”
God is lovingly caring for us and deeply desires us to TRUST Him and calm down! But we’re fighting, hissing, restless, anxious and distrusting since we feel like we’re on the inside only being able to look out the small peep holes to glimpse pieces of the “big picture.”
Oh, how God longs for us to trust Him and REST. The Bible says:
“In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves.” Psalm 127:2
Basically that’s telling us that we’re running scared, not trusting, not resting in God’s all-knowing, all-powerful, unimaginably powerful hands! (And believe me when I tell you this message is 100% for myself as well!)
I’m completely guilty of being the frightened and anxious cat in the box, not realizing that God is, and has been, carrying me all along–to the destination and destiny that He has created me for. So why am I still not trusting??! Why am I ridden with fear, doubt, hesitation, distrust and anxiety?? I’m exhausted just recounting the experience!
It was such a powerful realization for me, I HAD to share it with you as well.
>>Final Thought: I hope you can take that silly visual to heart, to realize if you too have been the frightened cat on the inside looking out, feeling out of control, remember you’re already in the hands of an all-knowing and ever-loving God. Who created you, loved you before you were even born and has a beautiful destiny waiting for you–if you’d trust Him to bring you to it.
Your sister in Christ,
~Dr. Melody
P.S. if you’re tired of living stressed out, fearful and feeling out of control, you’ve got to come join me in my free private FB group, Worthy To Be Me. Daily we lift each other up, refocus on God, pray for one another and encourage each other on a path to better health–inside and out.
In these days of so much turmoil and uncertainty, surrounding yourself with an uplifting community of other Christian ladies can help you get re-centered and refocused on things that really matter in life –> God being at the center. Come join us.
