My heart broke when I recently heard my friend say she was staying in a toxic and unhappy relationship because she was “so financially tied to him” she “didn’t have a choice.” I was saddened because she felt she had already weighed the pros and cons and wanted to get out, but she felt she had no choice. She was making a conscious choice to be a victim and to not believe in herself that if she left she would be able to support and provide for herself financially. Can you see the self-imposed bondage she is living in?
This article is not to debate the religious world-views of whether or not divorce is considered a sin and is right or wrong. Personally I believe that God wants all of us to experience joy and freedom and love, and if we need to remove ourselves of oppressive situations, I feel that is the liberating and self-loving choice we should make.
The question I’m posing is are you willing to look at yourself through a new perspective to examine if you are in toxic environments that are not helpful physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually for you?
Unfortunately many of us are surrounded by multiple toxic influences on a daily basis, both intentionally and not.
What is the harm of staying around toxic influences?
Whether we choose to admit it or not, these negative energies eat away at the freedom and joy of our Spirit little by little each day. They infiltrate our mind into believing lies about our true value, our self-worth, our abilities and our attainment and worthiness of love and freedom.
They tell us we’re not good enough, not smart enough, not strong enough, not capable enough, not worthy enough, not loveable enough. They stifle our true gifts, passions, callings and talents to a place that doesn’t even recognize them or even believe they exist any more.
They erode and kill your joy.
May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
How can you know if something or someone is toxic for you?
Examine your feelings – Do you feel a sense of happiness, comfort, love, safety and joy in that situation or around that person? Or do you feel fearful, uneasy, tense, depressed or a whole host of other negative emotions?
>> Our emotions are the best indicator of how our soul feels.
Your soul is alive inside of you and holds the keys to your true purpose, passion and value of who you are and were fully created to be.
After awhile of shunning our soul’s callings and stuffing them down because we don’t think (or we’ve been told) they’re not of value or worth, we begin to get numb to their call. But our emotions give us clues.
How to tap into who you really are. Into what brings you joy and fulfillment.
- I encourage you to make a list of what your soul is calling you to do, be or experience. What are the deeper callings, pursuits, passions, interests, gifts and talents that are unique to you. Not what you think are acceptable or socially appropriate choices. Take any limitations off as you do this activity. See what comes out from the inside. This is your Soul List.
- Next look over this list and write as many things or people that you’re involved with that meet the criteria of exploring, supporting or furthering these things.
- Now write a list of things or people you’re involved with that lead you away from pursuing, living or experiencing items on your Soul List.
Next comes the hard part.
The awareness has now been created. So what are you going to do about it?
It’s once our eyes are opened that we need to make a change, we now have to grapple with what that means. Do we need to exit a relationship? Do we need to change jobs? Do we need to stop participating in a certain social scene or group? Do we need to add or create ways to pursue our dreams? Do we need to take further action to support our health and vitality? If so, what, when, how, where?
Write down the action items that come to mind and start putting them into place as soon as possible!
But I’ll warn you, this is where fear sets in with it’s goal of keeping you in bondage. But don’t give into it. There is FREEDOM on the other side!
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1
Do you realize that once your eyes have been opened and you have allowed your Spirit to find it’s voice again, you then have the choice of freedom or continued slavery and bondage.
Your soul craves freedom and was designed to help you live a beautiful and exciting joy-filled life because it’s expressing who you really are! Do not let the lies, oppression or influence of others dictate who God made you to be.
I pray today that you will step forward in faith, moving in the direction of freedom, even one step at a time, to liberate your soul and let your light shine.
Do not believe the lies that you cannot support yourself if you were to leave, that you do not have value to offer others, that you could not be helpful or of use to someone else, that you are not worthy or deserving of love by anyone else.
YOU have already been given the value, worth and love that the Creator of the Universe bestows upon you, simply because He has created you. Step into that beautiful light, past the fear, over the uncertainty, and towards the beauty, love and joy that God has waiting for you. I’m cheering you on.
~Dr. Melody
P.S. Although I’m not a psychologist, counselor or therapist, I believe in your ultimate good. I am a motivator, encourager and lover of all of God’s beauty and creation–and that includes you!
If you feel you’ve been in self-imposed bondage and you’re ready to end the struggle–ready to claim back your life of joy and beauty–I’ve opened up slots for 4, 6 and 8 weeks coaching packages so I can help be a guiding light to help you find your way. I believe in you and your unlimited potential.
Simply click here to claim an open slot for us to talk and explore how I can help and what options would be the best fit for you. You are loved.
#DrMelody #healthandhopemotivator #christcenteredcoaching #youreworthit
So what are you going to do about it?
Have you ever heard the saying, “God helps those who help themselves?”
Let’s think about this for a second—then ask 1) is it true? And 2) is that statement supported in God’s word–His ultimate guidebook?
Does that mean that in order for me to deserve or earn God’s love and blessing on my life I need to DO something first? Perform? Act? Be dutiful? Be diligent?
While those things are good in some respect, it’s not a REQUIREMENT for God’s love or blessing. There’s nothing you NEED to do in order for God to love you more than He already does or to make you prosper. Jesus already paid the ultimate price so we could be holy and blameless in God’s sight because we’re covered by the spotless blood of the lamb!
Does that statement, on the other hand, mean that you can sit around and do nothing and expect your dreams and fullest potential to drop out of the sky or land on your doorstep?
Not so much.
Taking action on God’s plan and deepest desires He’s set in your heart is different from the mentality that He will help you “IF you help yourself.”
There is no prerequisite for God’s outpouring of blessing and favor in your life.
He loves you exactly as you are. As He created you to be. As He knit you together in your mother’s womb. But if you’d like to maximize your potential and grow into the best version of yourself that you can, that’s what will happen when you begin taking action on the dreams in your heart.
>>Final thought: Nothing you can do, have done or ever will do that can separate you from the love of God. Jesus paid the ultimate price for you with his life. Make sure you’ve invited Him to live in your heart. Now it’s your turn to maximize your potential and live out His fullest works in you and for the good of those around you. That is what you are called to. It’s time to get to work.
Your sister in Christ,
~Dr. Melody
P.S. Looking for a supportive community–a safe environment–to blossom into who God created you to be, at your deepest level? Come join me and the ladies of Worthy To Be Me to encourage, support and strengthen your faith and your actions as you continue to step into exactly who God created you to be. You are beautiful. You are unique. It’s just the way He designed it. #youreworthit
